Yesterday I experienced a very deep collective hurt show up within myself and my partnership to teach me about the entanglements we are in…and now I get to share the results with you. (Happy to share more personal details if you like, but the results here are very important).
A lot of talk about the objectification of women, which is true, and yet is goes deeper.
The most pervasive issue within men especially is passivity. Non-engagement. Laziness. Whatever you will call it. FEAR. (Fear is not a “thing”. Fear is simply a lack of love, movement away from love.) The traumatized cells in our body are literally in a fear state, not allowing of love. “The issues are in the tissues.” We are programmed to martyr ourselves in order to hopefully get love later, instead of allowing it now. It is akin to swimming upstream, mis-using up our powerful energy unsustainably. (Insert your own terminology.)
Now don’t get me wrong, this issue of passivity is an issue within every gender, and yet men are specifically affected because masculine sexuality is based on forward moving progress. So passivity literally halts the essence of this aspect of sexuality.
The natural flow of energy is blocked from moving properly, but it is not destroyed. Energy can’t be destroyed, it can only be re-routed. So it leaks out in unconscious and often destructive ways. This is THE cause of rape culture: The Passive and Disengaged/Disembodied Masculine.
When men are objectifying women, it is an exact reflection of how men objectify themselves. An energetic replica. Passivity is often a results of the EPIC ongoing distraction of men “looking good” in order to “get love”. If someone is focused on looking cool/buff/sexy/successful, this takes away focus from their life mission: and it is a huge distraction. How can we expect someone who objectifies themselves all day, every day, to actually see the very real feminine goddesses before them? Thus, objectification of EVERYONE is rampant.
Note: In no way does this minimize the actual destructive tendencies, this is just the bigger picture of what’s happening collectively.
There is an archetype discovered by Sidra Stone which she calls “The Shadow King” (on Amazon). This is an archetype which primarily flourishes within women and is passed down from mothers to daughters. This is the inner misogynist within women.
And that inner misogynist doesn’t just hate women, “he” hates everything feminine. This means he equally hates the feminine within all men. Thus, men are encouraged to repress their feminine aspects. (See the film “The mask you live in”).
Right now, in this movement, Men are being accused of proliferating rape culture simply for being men and for having sexual feelings. Objectified love is the highest love someone can possibly feel if they objectify themselves. Men are being shamed into NOT exposing their sexual objectification, simply for being men. Of course they have experienced objectification. This is a law of consciousness, and this is not simply allocated to men. No one has access to higher consciousness than where they are at. It’s like asking someone with no skills to achieve a highly skilled work – it’s just not something they have access to.
So here is the essence of our status in the gender war. Men are being encouraged by modern women to open and surrender, WHILE they are simultaneously being encouraged to disconnect and shame themselves for their sexual desires.
And this is where my deep hurt came into play – I was directly experiencing the war between masculine and feminine energies (and synchronistically it was the same day as my first Aikido class – divine timing).
So what do we DO?
*Commit to kindness NO MATTER WHAT. If we are accused of being unkind, RESPOND WITH KINDNESS. This is my personal challenge in my relationship – being tested in moments of accusation. I wrote a blog called “Real Authenticity is Effective” – I think the title says it all right there. It’s not authentic to mouth off every time we feel something, it’s authentic to tune in and take the more sustainable high road. Someone committed to SMASHING the patriarchy is working backwards. Fighting is the old way, breathing is the new way.
*I learned an amazing technique in my Aikido class yesterday. When an attacker comes at you, there is a conscious way to change their position so that you are in safety WHILE THEY FEEL OKAY WITH IT. The goal is not to reclaim power – it is to remember that you always have it. FREAKING OUT only leads to more of what you DON’T want. Committing to not harm any being is the new paradigm. Peaceful resolution is always an option, especially if the dominant willpower of an interaction is of a peaceful vibration. I recommend practices to increase access universal willpower.
*Process CONSCIOUSLY. Posting your process for everyone to see is ONLY beneficial if you are aware of your place in the process. Unconscious processing on Facebook furthers social erosion and is not helpful. You may like to look up the stages of grief, look up the 12 stages of healing, find out where you are at. If someone sets themselves up for disappointment, it’s not my job to correct them – that’s the job of negative emotions such as positive shame/guilt/regret. Notice how your decisions make you feel.
*We have the ability and privilege of asking ourselves “Am I only operating from one perspective, or am I open to more points of view”? (My partner has greatly helped me with this one, this is a feminine super power). I’m sure there are other points of view in response to this message. I am open to you. You cannot engage me in a fight, it is literally impossible. While I do have my own blind spots and shortcomings, I am truly enthusiastic about your wellbeing.
*We have the ability to make progress in own own healing process with EVERY action, with every decision. If it feels mundane, there’s likely an addiction and habitual programming at work. This is not a ‘flaw’, rather an opportunity for expansion.
I honor the path of every being toward clarity and remembering of our soul frequencies.
Blessings!
Joshua Falcon-Grey