Personal Development



Many of us have self-hatred embedded deep in our cells. This is not because we’re unlovable, but it is for a very good reason.

We’ve been abusing ourselves. We’ve been prostituting to achieve results for value systems other than our own.

In a prostitution exchange, the masculine controls and transfers hatred of the feminine while the feminine bears the emotional burden in exchange for resources. This is the erosion of worthiness.

We often experience this dynamic internally when our mind wants to “do” something before our heart is ready.

Don’t Just do it.
(Nike is Not an Abundance Teacher.)

It all depends on where in the body the “Just” is coming from.

Just = Justification

If we justify prostituting ourselves “just” to achieve productivity, “just” for the accomplishment, we’re “just” going to hate ourselves afterward, and we’re “just” going to feel feelings of regret and self-persecution.

My mother made this major sacrifice for me. Nearly my whole life she has been prostituting her energy. Its supposed to appear selfless, but it’s deceptive and actually very selfish. It’s unconsciously designed to create a sphere of guilt. I’ve always wanted to feel gratitude but I was too busy being angry about this ever-present guilt.

When she became a single mom – I was 6 and my sister was 3 – she went to work full time, and 30 years later she’s still at it today.

Up at 5am every morning with very few days off. She literally sacrificed 30 years of her life to be at what I consider to be a near meaningless job. It’s like spending 30 years in prison.

With such emptiness, sometimes I think to myself, “was my mom’s purpose on Earth really just to create my sister and I?”

There are a lot of hard-working, single moms out there who give up on their hopes and dreams in favor of supporting their children.

One day I was notified that without asking me she had refinanced her house to pay off a large chunk of my college student loans. I was pissed…trading a financial.debt for an emotional debt…prostitution brings us ever closer into the belly of the beast. Prison disguises itself as freedom.

Get that high paying job! Get that hot babe! Get that cute pet! And don’t consider the emotional impact of the responsibilities that come along with it! Because it’s “just” emotion, “just” your internal guidance system saying NO absolutely hell to the NO this is NOT my ultimate purpose on Earth.

Prostitution shows up in so many ways.

Am I prioritizing my partner’s pleasure over my own pleasure in the bedroom?

Am I doing the dishes from a place of “I just want to get this over with”?

Am I overeating and prostituting my digestive tract?

Am I saying yes to client work that doesn’t truly resonate?

Am I saying no to my dream life because “it would make me selfish”?

When my lady first suggested we live in Bali…alarm bells went off for me. They said, “that’s where people go to escape real life”. “It’s ungrounded”. “It’s just a distraction from my real work”.

I sat with that for a while. This same voice believes I need to live in the ghetto and constantly be focusing on hungry children if I have any chance of resembling a good person one bit. I should be suffering like everybody else. It’s not fair. I should be strong enough to be the light while living in an awful place. And this one is clever…”it’s easier to be a big fish in a small pond because I’ll be more appreciated.”

There are tons of healers and peers in Bali…I could see the abundance opportunity of community, or I could see the scarcity of competition. Both are available realities. What freedom.

My friend (and one of my many teachers) Amoraea recently moved to Bali. I see now that in doing so that by living in paradise he actually provides permission to others to do the same. I am now too accepting my own Birthright of environmental abundance.

Neediness and self-righteousness both arise out of prostitution programming. If we are not prioritizing our own emotional needs we require others to do it for us and thus we opt in to co-dependence. If we believe that sacrificing ourselves is the “right” way, our righteousness motivates us to encourage others along the same path. Those who fall into that trap will then become codependent alongside us and others will be repelled.

And all along we question “Where is my abundance if I’m so willing to do the work??”

The real work, my love, is in allowing the heart to feel itself. To be the field of forgiveness NOW. To recognize self-destructive patterns NOW. To make choices that actually feel delicious NOW.

Within the body lies a stuck emotion. This (often unconscious) guilt then causes a chain reaction of reasoning… faulty logic… which tells us which decisions to make. We now get to ask not just “what do I desire” but we get to go deeper…. WHY do I desire? Where in my body is it coming from?

Sri Aurobindo says “What men call knowledge, is the reasoned acceptance of false appearances. Wisdom looks behind the veil and sees.”

…And also ” If God draw me towards Heaven, then, even if His other hand strive to keep me in Hell, yet I must struggle upward.”

The body is the experiencer…learning to value our own experience is adulting.

Now…only after we’re clear on the important stuff… and we know where our urges are actually coming from…

Just do it 😉

Here in service to the collective awakening…

Joshua Falcon-Grey

Cultural Temperature Personal Development

Current Status of the Gender War

Yesterday I experienced a very deep collective hurt show up within myself and my partnership to teach me about the entanglements we are in…and now I get to share the results with you. (Happy to share more personal details if you like, but the results here are very important).
Personal Development

The Silent Treatment

NOTE: This post was written in collaboration with my teacher who has passed away since we started it (or perhaps he is just ghosting me). His name was Michael Melville. He was a brilliant Jungian analyst and Dream Interpreter. Here is his blog.


There is a common form of self-destruction and communication dysfunction which is well known as “The Silent Treatment”. It also goes by the name of “ghosting”, as one no longer reaches out or responds to communications and appears to have “died” or “fallen off the face of the earth”.

Personal Development

Your Everlasting Personality

Is your personality a facade?

What are you really?

Does your soul have a flavor?

Screen Shot 2016-07-12 at 4.15.30 PMThe answer really depends on how one defines the word “personality”. I define personality as a set of preferences. Masters such as Buddha and Jesus had clear personalities, which caused them to make very different decisions with their lives.

Personal Development

Anger is Creativity Waiting to Happen

creativity_waiting_to_happenAnger is a powerful force. It’s seen as quite taboo in our society today – people are regularly shaming others, saying things like “don’t be angry” or “don’t make a mountain out of a molehill”. The truth is, if it feels like a mountain bursting from within you, swallowing it can be incredibly damaging. Have you ever tried swallowing a mountain? Usually it doesn’t work out so well.

Personal Development

Being Big and Small at the Same Time

big_and_smallWe are often faced with situations that challenge us to bring our best. We are often scared that instead of bringing out best, we will bring our worst. We often don’t know how we will react. Will we feel scared and small? Or will we convince ourselves that ‘we can do it’ and will feel big and powerful?

Personal Development

Our Inner Insect

beauty_in_the_nastyWithin us lies the capability of embodying (AKA Role Playing) as any type of energy that we so choose. If someone says “Act like a rock”, you may go curl up in a ball. We are naturals at mimicking energy because this instinct was built into us to learn how to survive in a pack.

Personal Development

To think outside the box, turn the walls into ears

let_the_box_listenWe all want to “Think outside the box”, but exactly how is that done? What is the box, and how can we possibly get outside of it if be definition we are “in” it? It can seem impossible, until we make the decision to play with our own identity.

Personal Development

5 Minute Commitments Can Change Your Life


When’s the last time you spent 5 minutes asking yourself what you are committed to?

This isn’t a guilt trip. This isn’t saying you should do something or not do something.

Personal Development

Real Authenticity is Effective

authenticityAuthenticity is often touted as being everything, and yet exactly what is it? How can we know?